At Faith Fusion this past Sunday we met for our bi-monthly study group in Nashua, NH*. Our topic of study for the past two months has been Real Love in Parenting, by Greg Baer. This seemed an especially fitting subject as we celebrated Mother’s Day.

Our meeting began with each participant sharing a short testimony about their mother. There were several common threads that wove themselves through each person’s reflections that I think are worth mentioning. First, each person felt that there was a lot they could say, and that it was difficult to share only one or two points that stood out about their mother. Unintentionally, each person started by saying something like, “My mother was amazing!” or “My mother was the best mother in the whole world.” These were genuine and spontaneous reflections. And finally, each person said at some point in their sharing, that they learned so much from their mother or that she was a great role model. Other common themes were the amount and types of care and support our mothers gave us.

Parenting is a Journey of Learning to Love

It was heartwarming to be able to start our ‘Real Love in Parenting’ study time with these reflections.  None of us had perfect parents, but regardless of their faults our parents love became the dominant impression in our lives. This gives us hope that even though we are also not perfect parents, our children will still be molded by the ways that we love them.

Children are not the only ones who are molded by parenthood. Since my children have grown up I have come to realize that their childhood was a gift from God to me. I am the one who has the photo albums and the most memories; I am the one who got to experience their many stages of growth and learning and their interactions with each other. They each have only their own perspectives and memories, which are often very different from mine, or from each other. Being a parent was my journey of learning to love unconditionally, and from my point of view that is the purpose of life – to learn to love as God loves.

Here is a video that our Pastor wanted to share with everyone on Mother’s Day, and I think it expresses a similar sentiment:

Real Love in Parenting

We are listening to the audio book and discussing each chapter. This has become a valuable experience for everyone who attends even though many of us have children who are already grown. The parents of younger children are learning new ways to approach typical parenting issues, while the rest of us can apply these same principles to other relationships. Real love is unconditional love, it is the same thing that Rev. Moon called “True Love”.

Greg Baer emphasizes being “Real”, or honest, with ourselves and with each other instead of the usual defensiveness and protective behaviors that are typical in human relationships. Another major point is that anger is rooted in our self-centered viewpoint of what we expect or want from the relationship rather than what’s in the best interest of the other person. He presents a step by step process of evaluating the way we relate to each other and reframing our thoughts toward a more unselfish perspective. It’s a practical guide to becoming the best person you can be. For more information visit: RealLove.com

*On the first and third Sunday’s of the month we meet for worship service in Manchester at the Best Western Hotel, and on the second and fourth Sunday’s we meet in Nashua for small group study.