The Divine Principle from a Unification Thought perspective.

The Second Blessing, part 9

In the last two articles, we’d been looking at the “vertical” expression of love — from the elders “downward” to their juniors, and also from the young ones “upward” to their elders. The main form of love downwards is benevolence and the main form of love upwards is filial piety to the parents (and extending that, loyalty to leaders).

But in the four position foundation, there’s another direction of relationship, and that’s the one between peers. In a family, specifically siblings and spouses. Because those are relationships between people of fairly similar ages, they’re called “horizontal” relationships.

Love’s Expression in the Family

In traditional families especially, there’s a clear difference between the way people relate with their siblings compared to the way they relate to their parents (and grandparents). Many societies have behaviors that are appropriate when relating to elder relatives but aren’t necessary when relating to siblings. There are even differences in language: for example in specific words used to address elders, peers, and juniors.

Look at period films — ones about Europe, Asia, Native Americans come to mind — and you’ll notice the difference that elders were given, even elder siblings.

So we’ll continue looking more closely at these differences. Since we’d looked at “vertical” standards of conduct, this time, we’ll examine the “horizontal” ones.  Through that, we’ll get a deeper understanding of this explanation of the second blessing in the Divine Principle:

“…In order to construct the four position foundation in their family, Adam and Eve should have joined in loving oneness as husband and wife and raised children. This would have been the fulfillment of the second blessing”. … • Principle of Creation, § 3.2

It’s indicated here that the four position foundation in the family depends upon the husband and wife achieving “loving oneness”. An important insight into that appears in section 4.3.1 of the Principle of Creation, where the main form of love between husband and wife is mentioned: it’s fidelity.

The root word of fidelity is the Latin word “fides” which means “faith”. It’s easy to understand that the spouse who is faithful is the one whose love is true. But faithfulness is first learned between siblings and even friends. The brother or sister whose affection is faithful to us no matter what, is the sibling who takes care of our heart. Even among friends: the one who’s our best friend is likely the one whose heart is most faithful to us, no matter what.

All virtues come from family relationships

While fidelity is the main form of “horizontal” love, Unification Thought is very helpful in giving us other virtues that characterize “horizontal” love. Given the limitations of translation from Korean language and Chinese ideograms, it’s a helpful list nonetheless:

Corresponding to the horizontal order of the family, horizontal values come to be established. In the family there is harmonious love between husband and wife and love among brothers and sisters. These, in turn, will expand as values toward colleagues, neighbors, compatriots, community, humankind, and so on. Accordingly, such values as reconciliation, tolerance, duty, fidelity, courtesy, modesty, mercy, cooperation, service, sympathy, and so on, come into being. • NEUT, Chapter 4 Ethics, Section VII, B

An earlier translation (Explaining Unification Thought, 1981) mentions a few more values: sincerity, compassion, and understanding. (pg. 95)

Through these lists of values, we can get a sense of what the horizontal relationship between siblings and spouses — what the Divine Principle calls “loving oneness” —  should feel like. We could dissect each of the English words to understand them more deeply; we could also look at the original Chinese characters and dissect those for the same reason. Here, we’ll look at just a few.

I’d like to start with the value “sincerity” because I once read that it was the favorite Chinese character of Father Moon. The calligraphy is:

誠 心

and the character on the left means “sincere, honest; true, real” while the one on the right means “heart; mind, intelligence; soul” http://www.mdbg.net/. And then, looking one level deeper, the character on the left (誠) is made of two characters: “word” and “to become”. It indicates that sincerity is the heart to become the word — not just to speak it, but to incarnate it. I can understand why Father Moon would treasure this word.

I suspect that God, Jesus, and Father Moon are a bit cautious about our human promises: they’ve heard many, and They know that people don’t always deliver on their promises. Even in my own life, I’ve one pretty clear example: My wife is a Confucian girl who’s very wary of verbal expressions of affection. In fact, she strongly prefers to not hear them. She’d much rather see them; by seeing affection through real actions, she knows what’s true.

Loyalty and Sincerity Become Fidelity

The reason I started with dissecting sincerity is this: the Chinese character for fidelity (the core horizontal value) is:

忠 誠

It’s the combination of the characters for loyalty (see last month’s discussion) and fidelity.

That’s a pretty potent combination. It means that fidelity (忠 誠) is a heart that is centered on something outside and above oneself, plus a heart that embodies its promises rather than simply mouths them. If that’s the heart that a brother or sister has for us, that’s a person who’s very seriously committed to us. And taken to another level with a spouse, well, it’s an even more serious commitment. Knowing this makes me take fidelity very seriously; it becomes a primary concern of mine to model this in my family with my cousins and most especially with my wife. (I’d say siblings too, if I had them.)

Timeless Values Express Aspects of Love

All the other values in that list are important, but I’ll touch on just a few which make a special impression on me: reconciliation, courtesy and modesty.

“Reconciliation” is an expression of love that is invaluable in a healthy marriage. In my own, my wife and I occasionally have differences of opinion, and when those are strong, we may argue and hurt each other’s feelings. But then this little virtue of “reconciliation” that Unification Thought upholds comes to me and I’ll do the extra gesture or act that makes it possible for my wife and I to recover and start talking reasonably again. Because reconciliation is an expression of my true heart for her.

“Courtesy” is another favorite of mine. Why? Because it’s a remarkable expression of affection between a husband and wife. I now treasure the gracious acts of gentlemanly behavior that my Dad taught me so long ago for treating his wife like a lady. Those are wonderful expressions of my true heart for my wife. And that extra effort to treat her like a queen — when we’re out dining for example — is so emotionally rewarding for both of us.

And what of “modesty”? I think it’s pretty obvious that — when your heart truly belongs to somebody — you dress in ways that make them feel that you reserve your full beauty for them alone. Behaving and even dressing modestly, then becomes yet another beautiful expression of true heart toward your beloved.

Where have all the virtues gone?

All the “horizontal” virtues that Unification Thought mentions can be like that: expressions of esteem and affection between siblings, and ultimately of romantic love between spouses.

The last point is a very important one that’s been made previously. But it’s so fundamental to this way of looking at life that it bears repeating: all these loves that one can experience in a God-centered family are actually the most direct way that God’s Love is expressed to us. It’s not through nature alone that we experience the loving embrace of God, but — in the original scheme of things — it was through our relationships with our own blood kin that we most powerfully experience the love that God has for us.

All the different “nuances” of God’s love are meant to be expressed to us through those who love us the most. And that’s the importance of the “God-centered four position foundation” — it was, and is to be, the sacred place where God is assured that we feel cared for and deeply loved.

So I treasure these virtues that are mentioned in Unification Thought’s Theory of Ethics. They go a long way to helping me understand the brief explanation of the Second Blessing in the Principle, particularly the phrase “loving oneness”. And when you can understand, then you can practice. And that’s the point of philosophy after all: not just to know something deeply, but to be it and thereby experience the intoxicating joy of love that God intended. ❦