The experience of unconditional love is the gold standard of love. We all long for that quality of love more than anything else. Yet, we have a tendency to put that ideal aside thinking we won’t be lucky enough to experience it in our lifetime. We get distracted by day-to-day activities and before you know it you’ve lost sight of what is at stake when you give up on that dream.

An important question to ask yourself is “have you given up on the idea that you could give and receive unconditional love?” What would that be like if you could really achieve it to the fullest?

The Cost of a New Creation

When you are in the process of creating something new, whatever it is, you are more conscious of what is at stake. You want it to turn out well; you consider things carefully. You act with care. I was reminded of this last Tuesday while participating in a paint and sip night. A group of friends gathered at the Muse Bar which offers patrons the opportunity to paint a picture under the instruction of an artist. A blank canvas is scary! I was so afraid to make that first brush stroke, to mess up the painting. It seemed there was so much at stake in the creation of my little masterpiece.

This is not only true for us but true for God as well.  This simple statement struck me as incredibly powerful. Rev. Moon reflected:

“When God created the universe, the ideal of love was at stake. For the sake of what He had made, God has put out of His mind the thousands of years of fallen human history.”  Could you put out of your mind whatever has gone wrong in order to keeping going and build your dream? Over and over and over again, He has given love in the face of betrayal and humiliation at the hands of human beings.  That unconditional giving of love still remains on earth, even in this fallen human world.  It is a parent’s love. What is true parental love?  When loving their children, parents who think, “Oh, I must get back everything I’ve given my children, with interest!” are not true parents.  True parents sacrifice day and night, giving love again and again to their children.  No matter where they go, they do not forget them and want to give more to them.  They live for them twenty-four hours a day, transcending time and distance. This kind of love is closest to the original love.  Because He is the origin of this kind of love, God could lead human beings to the truth and lay the foundation for their salvation.”

This is a profound quote because it opens the door to understand not just the original ideal of creation but the process of recreation. How does God save his children who are disconnected from him and wounded by distorted love? This is God’s biggest headache and a very real issue. People are injured and despite the fact that God lives a life of unconditional love, his children aren’t able to feel that love.

Where is the place that we can experience and reconnect to God’s love? Ironically, it’s not in a church building or any other building for that matter but in the family, even an imperfect and flawed family!

Just as Jesus brought a radical, new way of looking at the world 2,000 years ago, Rev. Moon has further revealed the heart of God and Jesus for this generation.

2,000 years ago, a lot was at stake through the life of Jesus. He was trying to do something new. If you read the New Testament, you will see he was very intentional and mindful of the threats against him, as he worked to bring people into a new relationship with God. Jesus had a radical concept of God’s unconditional love that he wanted to share with the world. That’s why I love Jesus.

God’s brand in the world

So much of our lives belongs to God but we don’t recognize it. How do you know what belongs to whom? Jesus was really clear on this point and it got me thinking. In what was to become a pattern of harassment, the Jewish leaders of the day tried to trap Jesus into saying something they could report to the Roman authorities as an offense to Roman law. Matthew 22:15-22 describes such a scenario:

“Then the Pharisees went out and laid plans to trap him in his words. They sent their disciples to him along with the Herodians. “Teacher,” they said, “we know that you are a man of integrity and that you teach the way of God in accordance with the truth. You aren’t swayed by others, because you pay no attention to who they are. Tell us then, what is your opinion? Is it right to pay the imperial tax to Caesar or not?”

But Jesus, knowing their evil intent, said, “You hypocrites, why are you trying to trap me? Show me the coin used for paying the tax.” They brought him a denarius, and he asked them, “Whose image is this? And whose inscription?”

“Caesar’s,” they replied.

Then he said to them, “So give back to Caesar what is Caesar’s, and to God what is God’s.”

When they heard this, they were amazed. So they left him and went away.”

It was obvious the coin belonged to Caesar because it bore his image. The image dictated ownership. In that moment Jesus got a ‘get out of jail’ card and we do too! For my life to belong to God, it has to be bear his image.

If someone can look at my life and see God’s stamp all over it then there is no confusion or dispute! I think this is why Mother Moon created the motto:

“Let us become true owners of the Kingdom of Heaven by practicing true love in resemblance to God, our Heavenly Parent.”

To practice true love in resemblance to our Heavenly Parent means loving unconditionally and forgiving your enemy; the person who hurt you most deeply. I want you to think for a minute of the person who has hurt you the most. Who is that person? It’s probably someone who, when you think of them, makes your blood boil. You get angry and upset. Can you forgive them or perhaps take a step in that direction? It’s not easy.

I was reminded of this last night while watching a movie on Netflix.  The story was set in New Guinea during the time it was a colony under Spanish rule. It showed the abuses of imperialism as they played out in the lives of various indigenous characters. It was a complex movie that discussed the very real fight to overcome resentments and hatred born of abuse. I couldn’t get the movie out of my mind. I realized this is God’s story too. It’s the challenge all of us face.

Understanding the very real path of restoration enables us to recognize, on a whole new level, the role of the Messiah. Hearing the word Messiah conjures up various images or ideas. We focus our minds on the image we most associate with the word Messiah, Jesus Christ. We think of the forgiveness we hope to receive personally. Often it doesn’t go beyond that, but Rev. Moon opened up a whole new context for the mission of the Messiah. The Messiah comes as the True Parent, to restore the love that was lost at the Fall. God’s original ideal for love would have come about through a man and a woman, Adam and Eve and then expanded exponentially down through the generations.

This is why the Messiah comes as the True Parent. We need parents who can share with us God’s heart and love – the love we never knew. And then we need a place to practice that love. This is why the family holds a central place in the Unification Movement and why we regard the Marriage Blessing as the highest sacrament. Through the Holy Wine Ceremony, we engraft into God’s lineage and become family. 

But that is only the beginning. The real work of restoration happens on the ground, in our own home.

Rev. Moon talked about how we need our second Messiah: our spouse, and our third Messiah: our children, in the same way that we need the Messiah. In the relationships in the family, which are far from perfect, we have to grow and change in ways we never imagined when we took our first steps down the aisle.

The family is where we grow in love

Sometimes young professionals ask themselves if it is really necessary to get married. Increasingly, in the West, as well as in countries like Japan and Korea, couples are wondering if the sacrifices of parenthood are worth it. The numbers of childless couples are significantly growing in Europe and Asia. But when we realize the value of family, choices to limit those relationships don’t make sense.

Each child teaches their parents something new. They need a different kind of attention or affection. One child follows their parents easily while another needs to find their own path, but each needs to be embraced unconditionally with the same full investment of heart. In this sense we need to be humble before our children because through them we will grow in ways we didn’t even know we had to grow!

Through our second and third Messiahs our hearts are rounded out; we learn not to judge because we can’t deny the precious value of our family. Father and Mother Moon have taught that even God is growing, and if we consider the following words we can certainly understand this to be true:

“Over and over and over again, God has given love in the face of betrayal and humiliation at the hands of human beings.”

How can we learn to love unconditionally when we never received that in our own family?

This is a very real question. Having worked in the arena of social services for several decades I can certainly agree that people don’t necessarily have ideal families or receive the love they need in their home environment. This is why we need to learn the love of True Parents. While we try to practice that love in our sometimes unloving family relationships, we can be encouraged along the way by our faith family.

Greg Baer who wrote the book “Real Love” had it right when he explained that in your journey to realize real love you have to find kindred spirits – people who are committed to loving you unconditionally – standing by you.  On the foundation of that experience you can heal your heart and grow. We have to be that for each other. This is why judgement should have no place in a real church community.

There was a piece about how to do that on a blog by Heather Platt. She advised her readers to:

“Be willing to walk alongside another person in whatever journey they are on without judging them, making them feel to inadequate or trying fix them.” That kind of unconditional support can be redeeming. It’s something Jesus practiced and a realm of heart we need to find.

Daring to Love Unconditionally

I was struck by a true story of four pastors wives who decided that if they truly followed Jesus it should be expressed in their lives. Like the coin that depicted Caesar they wanted their lives to be branded to Jesus’ unconditional love.

They decided that if Jesus were alive today he wouldn’t just be concerned with the people who had their act together but would reach out to those who needed love the most. These four women felt convicted to reach out the women at a local strip club. They’d never even been into a strip club and didn’t really know what to expect. They knew they couldn’t lead with the truth but had to unconditionally love so they prepared gifts of food and little things that would appeal to any woman and marched into the bar. At first it was really awkward. The owner let go into the dressing room and give the gifts but the pastor’s wives felt out of place. One of the wives was pregnant and it seemed an odd juxtaposition to the venue.

Despite the awkwardness they decided to keep visiting. They set aside any assumptions and just tried to get to know the women as people, not trying to indoctrinate or fix them. Little by little, the dancers began to share their lives – the worries they had for their children – everyday stuff.

As the relationships deepened it felt natural to offer a bible study in the strip club of all places. The owner actually agreed and it was all set up. At first one of the pastor’s wives led it but then she realized it needed to be led by a man. All of the dancers had been hurt by men and what they needed was an experience with a man where they could develop trust, and learn what it means to be loved by a brother or father with God’s unconditional love.

I was very moved by this story – not because I think we should all start such a ministry, but because these four women decided to put their concepts and prejudices aside and truly value their sisters because they are God’s daughters.

The opportunity to give unconditional love is everywhere

Sometimes God feels far away but God wants to be a personal God. He is able to be such a God through the family. We can create families where God is truly present. As we practice unconditional love our own hearts begin to heal, because we feel and directly experience God’s presence in the space between us.