How are You Keeping Score?  

What counts and doesn’t count. That’s an interesting question. Every game has a way to keep score. I understand some games and I have little patience for others.

Take Settlers of Catan; I see the hours people are happily engaged but I have never learned the rules and so it’s still a mystery to me. Another game that can extend for days is Cricket. I have no clue how you keep score even though I spent summers surrounded by the sound of bats on a wicket.

People engaged in sports are all clear about how the score is kept and they follow scores and accomplishments. Have you ever met people who can rattle off batting averages and touch downs without stopping to take a breath?

What you value is revealed by what you count

What if we were that clear in life? You always knew how you were doing and how to improve your game. I recently happened upon a Comedy Central clip that asked, “What if we treated our teachers like we do our pro sports figures?” It’s an amusing skit that reveals a subtle truth about how we measure success.

Click here to watch Comedy Central skit

How do we learn to keep score in life?

In life we are trying to figure out what counts and what doesn’t count. Keeping score is as old as time. If we go all the way back to the beginning of history we see Cain was keeping score against Abel.

“When they grew up, Abel became a shepherd, while Cain cultivated the ground. When it was time for the harvest, Cain presented some of his crops as a gift to the Lord. Abel also brought a gift—the best portions of the firstborn lambs from his flock. The Lord accepted Abel and his gift, but he did not accept Cain and his gift. This made Cain very angry, and he looked dejected.

“Why are you so angry?” the Lord asked Cain. “Why do you look so dejected? You will be accepted if you do what is right. But if you refuse to do what is right, then watch out! Sin is crouching at the door, eager to control you. But you must subdue it and be its master.”  – Gen 4:2-7

Cain got into trouble because he was keeping score. He fumed because God wasn’t playing by his rules! The rules that Cain was playing by took a devastating toll, not only on his relationship with his brother but God’s providence as well. In anger, he killed his brother and Abel’s death meant that the work of restoration would be prolonged for generations.

How was God keeping score?

God had a very different set of rules that he was hinting at when he spoke to Cain’s heart. We don’t know how Cain “heard” God’s voice but we do know that every so often we have an uncomfortable inkling and, like Cain, we just “know” what we are supposed to do. It’s clear and it’s usually only our ego and the need to be right that drowns out our conscience.

God was trying desperately to communicate his rules of relationship. Yes, maybe Abel looks like he has it all together and, yes, he’s being an arrogant jerk but don’t respond in kind. If we knew a few more details of what was said it might go something like this:

“I need a victory of love here. I need you to love your brother more than yourself. I want you to control your jealousy and try and see as I see. Restore love and the world can return to how it’s meant to be. Please do this for your sake and mine.”

Cain couldn’t respond; too wrapped up in the intensity of his own emotions to even care about what mattered to God. He lost perspective and gave in to his baser nature. If we are honest we have all been there! I know I have.

The impact of ignoring how God is trying to win the game for humanity is dire. Cain didn’t just impact his own world but affected generations to come. The Divine Principle provides great insight that can change the game. For example it explains:

Trying to operate without understanding the rules is a sure path to failure

“To remove fallen nature ….. a course must be taken which reverses the process through which human beings initially acquired the fallen nature. The archangel (Lucifer) fell because he did not love Adam, rather he envied Adam…..failing to take God’s viewpoint. To remove this characteristic of fallen nature, the Archangel should have taken God’s standpoint in loving Abel, who stood in Adam’s position.” – Divine Principle (p. 193)

This above quote reveals some of God’s thinking and hints at why it mattered that Cain control his feelings and not kill Abel. The Divine Principle reveals a hidden dimension of history that pertains to our lives as much as it does to historical figures.

Fast forward a generations and we meet Saul and a young upstart, David, who just like Abel, clearly had God’s Blessing. His heroics attracted the women.

 “When the victorious Israelite army was returning home after David had killed the Philistine, women from all the towns of Israel came out to meet King Saul. They sang and danced for joy with tambourines and cymbals. This was their song:

“Saul has killed his thousands, and David his ten thousands!”

This made Saul very angry. “What’s this?” he said. “They credit David with ten thousands and me with only thousands. Next they’ll be making him their king!” So from that time on Saul kept a jealous eye on David.” – 1 Samuel 18; 5-9

Saul couldn’t handle it. It was too threatening. He was keeping score. He saw how the women responded. “Saul has killed his thousands, and David his ten thousands!” They were keeping score and Saul did the same.

God had a purpose in lifting Davit up. He saw something in him. He needed that kind of champion but instead of trying to see from God’s point of view, like Cain, Saul was consumed with his own understanding of how the score should be kept.

One thing that intrigues me about the Bible and wisdom literature is that it so clearly reveals that human nature truly did get warped and history is the story of trying to untangle the mess. It’s easy for us to get caught up in the emotional state that Saul struggled with. We compare ourselves to others despite the fact that it’s a losing strategy.

We don’t allow ourselves to be valued for who we are or what we uniquely contribute. We forget how God is keeping score in a different way than we do and for what purpose. The Divine Principle reveals that God did not just arbitrarily reject Cain. It was a set-up for Cain to succeed (on behalf of humanity) had he not been so impulsive.

What do you forget?

Are we like this too? I think that every mother probably cautions their child, at least once “Don’t compare!” Yet, we all fall into the trap.  I fell into the trap with my elder sister who seemed to have all of God’s blessing, or at least my parent’s. It appeared I could never hope to compete academically and so I began a game of opposites: she excelled, I failed; she saved, I spent.

She won scholarships and medals and I won the “effort” prize (code for slow learner!) But along life’s journey I began to realize that making comparisons hurt. It hurts me, it hurts my relationships with others and it hurts God who created me for a unique expression of His incredible nature. Maybe God doesn’t care that physics isn’t my thing and I shouldn’t care either.

How comparison tanks you every time

Comparison is a funny thing. John Ortberg in his book “When the Game is Over It All Goes Back in the Box” describes this trap. It’s ironic that when it comes to money we compare ourselves to those financially better off than us. We are always hankering after more, never satisfied but when it comes to ethical matters, we like to compare ourselves with those lower than us, so we can look good.

We pat ourselves on the back and applaud the fact that we haven’t embezzled or killed anyone. It would never occur to us to compare up and long to be more unselfish or more kind. We find it uncomfortable to think about those worse off than ourselves and quickly change the subject. It’s a funny thing – we choose comparisons that hurt us in the end.

One dangerous thing about comparison is that it can cause you to focus too much on climbing the ladder, whether that ladder be social, economic, physical or intellectual. You are always aware of who is on what rung and if they are above or below you. Climbing up the ladder tends to be competitive and too often there is someone waiting to stab you in the back, if not literally then metaphorically.

But is that really how to succeed? Cain tried killing the more “successful” only to deepen and prolong his own suffering.

What is God’s solution?

Like all of God’s solutions it appears inside out and upside down at first glance but when you practice it, it actually makes sense. It’s a funny thing but as you climb the ladder to success you might find that God is going in the opposite direction!

It’s not that God is against success. Far from it. It’s just that he’s an inside out kind of God.

Look at Jesus. He climbed down when he washed the disciple’s feet. This was an act normally performed by slaves when guests entered a house. Jesus wanted to highlight that it is in service to others that we discover our true greatness.

Ironically, the man that put himself lower than others is now held in the highest position by believers around the world and respected as an incredible historical figure by non-believers. No-one disrespects Jesus. You might say he went down to go up. It seems that God’s scoring system is a little different than ours.

God’s great paradox

Rev. Moon always emphasized the ethic of living for the sake of others. He encouraged people to serve rather than wanting to be in a high position. He even asked, “Who will be the last person to enter the Kingdom of Heaven?” Surprisingly, his answer was “the Messiah” who naturally enters last, as it’s his job to help others in.

This characteristic of servant leadership is God’s style of leading. It’s how he operates. He never puts himself first.

Why is living for the sake of others so important? Is it just another nice idea – the perfect slogan? Does it work because it’s the polite thing to do or simply makes others feel good?

Living for the sake of others is as essential as breathing. It’s how we are refreshed. It’s what gives us life.

How God wishes we kept score

God wishes we understood his scoring system. It’s vastly different from our own. We look in the mirror and see all of our flaws and shortcomings; God sees our original nature and value and that makes all the difference.

Does it really matter if we value ourselves? I’d say yes. If someone asked you for a donation of $100 but you only had $20 in your pocket and a pile of bills at home, you would find ways not to contribute. Poverty makes us hunker down. But if you had just received a windfall you would easily give and maybe give more than you were asked for.

If we know our value it’s easy to be generous – to forgive someone who was mean spirited toward you. You have nothing to fear because you know who you are. To succeed and reverse our fallen nature, it helps to have a deep understanding of who we are and our value. Knowing this, Rev. Moon explained:

“Great artists like Michelangelo and da Vinci painted masterpieces worth millions of dollars now, but you are a living masterpiece of God. If one Michelangelo costs a million dollars, you as a living masterpiece are priceless. Even a little blade of grass which witnessed the love of God is this precious.” – Sun Myung Moon

Allowing ourselves to operate grounded in a deep understanding of our value liberates our hearts to make the final touchdown – the one that God is really interested in!

Making that final touchdown

God doesn’t want us to kind of make it. He’s hoping that we make it all the way. Jesus told people to “Be perfect as your Heavenly Father is perfect.” He didn’t mean you can’t make mistakes. He was and is convicted that each one of us has the capacity to be perfect in love.

One of the things I most appreciate about the Divine Principle is that it doesn’t just encourage people to be good people, rather, it reveals the imperative that we need to fight for our original nature and our destiny is to be one with God. Spiritual maturity is possible!

What could you do?

God was hoping Cain could discover his emotional and spiritual maturity, but Cain didn’t understand God’s ways and the way of real love.  He couldn’t figure out what mattered to God and God’s purpose in his current circumstances. It put Cain at a disadvantage.

You might say that sometimes sin is couching at our door too, but we have the advantage of a myriad of interactions between God and humankind since the days of Cain, to guide our way. It’s our choice; our gain. We need to learn how to play the game God’s way.